Shorty Got Low, Low, Low, Low, Low, Low, Low, Low.

It's here! Yes ladies and gents! an all time low! and I'm not talking about the band.

I'm talking about life. I'm exhausted from the past two weeks of 14 hour days. I'm not excited at all for school to start or to meet new people.

I'm trying to prepare myself for a lot of things, without God's help..and it's not working. Go figure.

I feel useless. Feelings don't account for much anymore really, with the exception of self-pity blog entries such as this one. Let the whining commence.

I feel like I've been running a marathon with school, friends, family, work, and it's all for nothing. When I graduate, I'm going to be in a ton of debt, with no job, no husband, and just me myself and I to somehow make that work. I need God more than ever. I'm preparing myself to leave everything I have known behind and to start over, yet again. It's hard, but it needs to happen. The sad thing about all that is I have no one to back me up. No one I look up to anyway. My parents have been telling me not to get married right after school and to travel and do something for myself. WHEN THE HELL WOULD I HAVE THE MONEY FOR THAT. I honestly don't think they know how much debt I will have to pay back after I graduate and how little I'm going to be making. I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but at first, it's not going to pay the bills. I'm going to have to live at home and work some shit job until I can find a real one, and even then Drew is still 700 miles away. I really am preparing myself for an entire life change. I've been doing something for myself for four years now. It's getting old and fruitless.

I need to let God drive and see what happens. It's hard, but "the end will justify the pain it took to get us there." (in the words of Relient K)

If you read this, please pray for me. Or come talk to me. I really would like that.